The Counter

Ok, I am sitting here watching Dr Phil- and this dumb b---- is sitting on the stage making excuses why she  allowed drugs and drinking  in her teens home, then blaming the kids. The kids feel insane as she keeps saying "no," it is everyone else's fault.  The kids, cops, other parents -as she stares blankly. Okay- this isn't even what my story is about,  way too much work, don't even get me started. I will never stop! What did get me revved up was actually tongue in cheek humor from this broad. Dating back, you guessed it:


Clare's School 101... From a Sixteen Year Old- All you need to know and more. 

I was thinking about when I started waitressing, and what I learned about peoples behaviors, and how it has served me to this day- when the red lights go off. Run don't walk. Now this is the real me.....
so if you aren't into my story at this point of the game, best be closing up shop and read something else,  I feel like letting it fly. Anyone who really knows me.... knows how tame I have been writing.  I love words, usage,  tone, meaning, shock value. Yes- "shock value".
 Too much Catholic School that never leaves me.  Pleasures me to no end. So here goes and if you think I am not grinning from ear to ear, hmmm.

So, back in the days of waitressing at sixteen, I was learning all about life - and people's behaviors.
First I will talk a moment about mine. I have something that I don't know what it is called- numbers dyslexia?  To this day I get numbers mixed up. I can't even explain it, but they get jumbled up in my head. So, back to waitressing. In the restaurant I began Hostessing first- and couldn't remember where all The Stations in the restaurant were.
It was a big place and all the girls had there favorite customers. They wanted me to put their regulars on their Station, but couldn't get the numbers straight in my head. The first four or five were fine- but past that they would get jumbled. These babes thought I was doing it on purpose. First of all, I wasn't smart, angry or cunning enough to pull off such a feat. I had not learned the female ways of the world to pull off such sabatoge. To calm my jilted nerves from these savage beasts, I would bring whole pies into the bathroom, place them up on the unit that held the paper towels for drying your hands. I  kept a large spoon there and would dig in when I got stressed. I am an interesting gal pal,  I know.

Can you imagine customers walking in, seeing this yummy pie perched up high, with a huge spoon rakishly laying in it? I would feast on that sucker until it was history.
I moved around a lot- I have always been hyper, and the sugar probably made me even more nervous and forgetful. These chicks were older and had worked this place along time, they were not having it with me, complaining constantly. Who could blame them? The managers had many "talks" with me. "I know you can do this if you just focus." Um, no, trust me, it's not gonna happen. By the time I became a waitress it was a million times better, I only had to focus on six stations. My life became  much easier, not to mention these gals got their perfect worlds back.

I had to do a lot of night shifts first, the morning shifts were the much coveted ones.
Working the Counter was the job no one wanted and that is pretty much where  I started.
Whoa- interesting crew. Now I know why one of the girls always unzipped her uniform way down in the morning and let her jugs fly a little more freely than usual, and they were some big bazookas.
She tripled her tips. I was sixteen, went to Church a lot and pretty much just stared.
Of course it was mostly men who sit at  The Counter. Now when you are very shy, come from an extremely Catholic Home and have no idea how to talk to boys let alone men- you do a lot of observing. I had just turned sixteen, starting Junior Year. This was my first real job after just coming off of a Summer of being a Camp Counselor at a Catholic Girl's Camp in Wrightwood.

I worked until 9 pm and management would try to push it later and later. The Counter People that came in as the evening grew later were very interesting. The Hells Angels Bikers, interestingly enough were the ones I feared the least- even to this day.  Again: Clare's everything you learn at 16.
They  very nice and the type that would have walked me to my car late at night. The gents that actually scared me the most:
The TV Preacher type that came in with their families on Sundays dressed nice and proper. Good family men. Then the same men would slither in some weekday evening as if I hadn't just waited on them , their lovely wife and children.... and tell me how"They liked my bedroom eyes."  First off, I had no idea what the hell they were talking about,  but it had bedroom in it, and second it was gross.
I was sixteen, they were a lot older, married and TV Preacher slithering in.That was one of my greatest lessons about trusting my intuition. Those kind always said the grossest things to us.
They looked so clean cut- but said the most repulsive things. To this day.... Ray can see it coming from seven years of waitressing. Okay, that's "One of them."  I just can't help myself sometimes. It is a look. You can just spot it. "Would you like some dessert?"  " Yes, you baby on the counter." By seventeen I wouldn't blink an eye and just say you are so original. By twenty I would say," Yum, how about you on the counter for dessert ," as I was bringing out my other orders, ringing up the register and clocking out.  I would be fired in two seconds now for what would fly out of my mouth. I  like words, very descript words. I met amazing people, and it wasn't just one type- but that was the type I am laughing about today. Believe me there were many!

For Halloween we used to dress in Costume each year. Some girls dressed as Playboy Bunnies. I would rather have shot myself. Even wearing my long hair down out of a bun was too much of a reveal for me. I dressed in twenties style one year. I don't think people got the romantic look. I did and loved it. I will post it. Believe me.... I was as wild child as they came.
I just didn't like gross, invasive and still don't. I am private- even though I am very public at times.
I learned so much from waitressing, I never realized  I would learn so much about life and keep applying it today.
I used to wait on Kenny Loggins Dad at The Counter.  I didn't really care or pay attention all that much, to be honest. I am pretty sure I was too interested in getting back to my pie in the bathroom.