Here's the thing, am I the last one to catch on to the fact that I am an imposter living inside my own skin? Only until I really looked at my clothes- my physique.... and let me clue you into a little secret, those two t'aint met up in some time. The fantasy of what I want to look like with those fabulously beautiful clothes draped ever so gently....as opposed to my "real uniform".... black tee shirt some days more than others stretched more than generously over my girth. Jeans, sweats - depending on bloat,
mood, fanciness of the moment. Black long dress..... you decide. Always, you guessed it- black.
On Monday I decided to take action- starting an online bootcamp. fear not.....
I have eaten myself into oblivion over the past few days so as not to go into starvation mode for the next eight weeks? Could it be the stretch marks, cellulite, or gut hanging gently that has caused such despair? Or simply feeling so out of control and tired? Hmmm.... let me ponder that one a little further.
Perhaps I will rub my third chin as a genies wish and come up with an answer as I type this while the computer balances precariously on my belly as I lay flat on the bed, forcing perhaps a forth chin further downward.
All is well..... I can laugh because I know I am ready for change as I mock myself....
this is the surest sign of change more than ever. I changed my position onto my belly, that other position is not for sissy's. I have taken it all so seriously, or ignored it. Now it simply is what it is, I am ready to tell myself the truth, ready for change. Here's to.....EVERYTHING.
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