Lessons Learned

Today was a longer day than I have had in awhile. My heart is heavy. On one hand, the people I love were brought together and I am very proud of the end result~ something we accomplished as a team. On the other hand, I learned a powerful lesson about the person we were helping, the fact that she was perfectly okay with us doing all the work. The truth of the matter ... it shocked me to the core.

I just didn't see it coming. I am the type of person, when I no longer respect someone I can't even look at them. I wear my emotions in my eyes, on my heart. I would be the worst poker player. I don't care... hopefully it will keep me cancer free, from just saying how I feel, being in the moment enough of the time. I told this person ~ perhaps she should indeed join in the work party, after all... it was for her.

Excuse after excuse she provided. Talking on the phone, allergic to this, that... blah blah blah. I am not talking about a teen. I am talking about a grown woman~ in fear of losing her business, her income, her future.
The team that was gathered worked their asses off on a Sunday... because I asked them to join in on a Community Event... let's help someone rebuild. I do not regret this decision for one second.I pray this woman gets a second chance, and everything turns around. What has happened for me, watching everything all day... Arm chair Warriors sitting, while the hardest working people I know, turned something ordinary... into extraordinary.

Without integrity, respect, dignity, what do we have? for ourselves and those around us. The lesson was so important, I wouldn't change one thing. I will get over how I feel.
However in saying that, I learned that when I do not respect someone, and they show little respect in return ~ by their behavior, I have no interest, guilt, need to explain my behavior. I simply do what is best for me. Understanding that it isn't going to get any better in this situation frees me to move forward. Wishful thinking with this situation keeps me stuck. I do wish this person the greatest success... but the damage is done. Seen this movie enough times to know how it ends. I really am understanding more and more, when I hear about being in peoples lives ~ just for short periods of time. We live we learn, not always meant for the long haul. Just writing about this is has lightened up my heart.