They're Just Not That Into You

 They're Just Not That Into You
 Those words are definitely not for just the dating crowd! I am thinking of all the friendships I have had-  realizing when one party is just not into the other. It can be a very slow death. One that I have been in lately-  and is definitely in that category. The thing about situations like this which happen to all of us at one time or another- we can learn from them, ignore what has happened and just move on business as usual, choose to get very offended, ( let's face it- who hasn't?) the options are never ending.

The friendship -  is now more that I think about it, an acquaintance from days of past. The days of youth-dom.  I think we put more stock into this time because our emotions get so riled up.We may remember things that mean something sweet from the past, the other person may have no memory whatsoever, or we could be the clueless one with someone else's tender emotions.

What conclusion I came to this week, I suppose today in particular by putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Pulling back enough to look at myself and say- whoa girl, where have you gone? This person from your past gave less and less- as you tried to hang in there, not knowing their personality of present- all these years later. Something hit me time and time again in my gut- this feels like I am trying way the hell too hard. I felt like I was giving away myself, for what?  Waking up felt really good.


Some friendships were never meant for more than, "How's the weather". Others blossom into the most beautiful lifelong treasures. We never know where things will land. It is always interesting to see the effect someone from our past  has on our hearts. How they touch us- irritate us, push us, shake us up, make us think, help us grow. Fill our hearts with love, heartache, passion, so many emotions that mingle with the adult of today. It is always an interesting and sometimes uncomfortable dance until you learn the steps. Accepting the gifts that come with it.

I learned with this one, about myself more than anything which I am so grateful.  I learned patience in hanging  in there even though I knew long ago this person just wasn't into me. I wanted to believe in the sweetness of my past- perhaps our past that I wasn't ready to let go of. At times I felt somewhat undignified from such little response from this person. But ultimately, it was okay. It was always this persons choice to cut bait, mine as well- we are both adults. Maybe neither were ready for our own reasons, control, power, fear, need for forgiveness,  simple sweetness of the past. Who knows and it really doesn't matter anymore.  What I realize is  there is always a tinge of pain when it happens to you-when someone is just not into you. I have done my fair share and I guess it was my turn for the wheel of life to spin round in my direction.

 Change did come - stepping out of my Princess flats - into my Queen heels. Owning my power knowing, being willing to feel my feelings, all of them and move on. Wishing my friend well-  glad they have been a part my of life- for me to stretch, learn, grow.  From the past to  present day- thank you.