Dude Looks Like A Lady

Sometimes things you think at the time are such a good idea don't always pan out. Case in point, somewhere around 5th  grade I think this story took place.   I was with my friend after school, riding up toThrifty's no doubt to get an ice cream cone.  We were both on her bike, let's just say neither of us were particularly petite. We were a vision so graceful and swanlike.

As we were nearing Thrifty's, salivating no doubt at this point and am sure I had built up a hefty appetite as the passenger..... What to my wandering eye did appear but a shadowy figure across the street. I cannot even type this I am laughing so hard.  I blurted out to  my friend, "look at that fat chick." Now it takes one to know one, as the poor tires on her bike were getting a real workout. Obviously I didn't know my voice carried so far. Fat chick looked up from across the street and it was on.  Hey, what about our ice cream?

With a look of rage in her eyes,  fat chick wasn't having it. "Who you calling fat?' Uh oh, dude looks like a lady. She was a he and he was coming after us. We high tailed it out of there, with him like the wind on us. Finally several blocks later my friend could pedal no more, we stopped. An old man was working away on his tree in front of his house, this looked like a safe spot as any. No such luck, he acted like all of us were invisible. Fat chick was gonna learn me a lesson, I felt it coming. 

She/he took the snow cone  he was previously eating, and ground it ever so nicely into my chin until it appeared to come to a point with scab for extra measure by days end. That taught me I don't know what at the time, but something. Get my gender right. He/she was angrier about being called a chick than fat. She/he walked away with sheer satisfaction, just smirking.  I laugh every time I hear the song Dude Looks Like A Lady.