I can only be where I am. Yet the tears flow none the less. Giving myself away again, for wanting that silly old thing called love. I know I will recognize this need in myself much sooner with each step I take.
Every risk. I am still smarting something fierce. I am just plain old sad. I am actually fine with this.
It is the move forward stage I recognize, so familiar with. First I grieve. Not always sure what my washing machine of emotions is spinning.
Without risking, I cannot move forward. Without loving, my life would be very empty. The pain is just part of the package. The joy as well. My dreams are mine. The bruised heart will recover. I am more than familiar with these feelings of alone-ess. I am listening to Winnie The Poo song. I have a lot lately. Back to the House at Poo Corner. I yearn for a fantasy that was never. I listen to this song and it brings me such comfort. I played it for my children. I think I needed it for me. Especially now. Sometimes in order to make great changes, to fill the holes in ourselves....... we must take comfort where we can.
I no longer take any shame in this. What we lack~ we learn to develop, and pass on.
It is my turn. I have always made children my number one. I suppose to heal the wounded child in me.
It is time to take the next step and give back what God has given me. I have woken up now. I have healed this heart enough to give back. No more stripping away. Enough. I could keep stripping until there is nothing left. I am good at that now. It is time to rebuild. Give back what I have learned.
Step up my game. Make a declaration. I declare.................... it is time.
Amen- and Bless you, my sweet Clare.
ReplyDeleteYou have earned ti good, and are the good, and are and spring is the time to flower, grow, be colorful and beautiful, the person you are.
Thank you honey. Your words fill my heart. I am trying. With love surrounding me so rich and vibrant and true....... I am blossoming.
ReplyDeleteI love you.Thank you for loving me.
Oh dearest Clare, Declare, declare, declare...I once wrote, "Deliverance I Declare"... and NOW your time...
ReplyDeleteDeliverance I declare
from the din of desolation
from the clutches of despondency
no longer this mind divided against itself
no longer this body possessed by deception
no longer these eyes blinded by deceit
no longer these ears deafened by despair
no longer this spirit quelled by dejection
Deliverance I declare.
Rose Marie Raccioppi
Hello lovely Clare-
ReplyDeleteOh my YES! It is time to celebrate your truths and shre them with those who need to know of them and who will find hope in them. It is why we are here - to share our truths - to be broken and poured out so others canhave hope. You, having emerged from darkness are now 'light' for others. Hallelujah!! How lucky the world is.
Love you
Gail
peace
Rosie, thank you. In that declaration, it is as though I felt every agonizing step I took that led me here, tears blinding me as I wrote.
ReplyDeleteI declare......... it is time.
Gail, this is one I have put off, not wanting to do. For one reason or another. Perhaps fear, not feeling good enough, ready enough.
ReplyDeleteI will never be ready enough. I will simply declare.......