Comfort Of Friends

   Last night I slept better than I have in a long time. I still woke up in the middle of the night.
But I was finally able to go back to sleep and feel like a human being. I know that is for many reasons.
Yesterday was a turning point for me. Having gone to Linda, my friend and Kinesiologist~who always helps me figure whats up when my body goes haywire. My body had gone haywire for about a month, but I was ignoring all the signs~ again. She quickly and accurately accesses the situation, and brings my fear down. The reason to begin with I felt like I was the walking dead~ my electrolytes were too low.
I could barely move. The pain of Fibromyalgia has been more severe than usual. She informed me my alkaline/ acid balance in my food was off. Time to change again. I am used to changing constantly.
Severe allergies, like I have said in the past.... too  many things to talk about that have happened to my body in this process of "Healing." I just usually don't say a word. Would scare most people off or bore
them to death, or the usual~just get over it. So I usually have said nothing through the years, kept to myself. My friends literally are the people who treat me. Chiropractors, doctors, because they understand   what my body goes through.  Yesterday was the first time I wrote about Fibromyalgia.  An old friend from grade school  lovingly told me she had very similar things in her life.  I can't tell you how less alone I felt.

I am realizing  more than ever the comfort of friends, being able to really communicate.
Say what is on your mind. I have always done it in my own home. My husband and children and I freely
express this. It is safe and necessary to build a healthy and happy home. It has taken many years to learn.
I have been gun shy in relationships, because my high need to say how I feel, good bad and in between.
This only positive shit is just not real. It get's you nowhere, and limits you. Darkness and light, yin and yang. Balance. It all is part of life. Twenty six years of marriage~ if we were all smiles, well that is funny in itself for anyone who has been married. But it comes with the territory. You get the complete package.
Everything, just like with kids. Matt is almost 25. I have been a parent for a while now. There are ups and downs. You just take the ride. Darkness falls and than the morning comes. It's how life works.

I have built a relationship recently with my sister, where there was once complete darkness, devastation.
I saw no light coming. We had one of the best lunches at The Cheesecake Factory yesterday, than I think we have ever had. I saw her in present moment, present time, for I think the very first time. Really.
Who she is today. It's been building up to that. There was just so much pain and unfinished history between us. She had softened. Changed. It has taken us months of both letting our guards down, working out the kinks. I think yesterday was the reward as we walked over to the mall afterwards,
into  Borders. Looking at Cookbooks~ James Taylor was playing in the back ground. I thought,
this is pretty good. We haven't done this in a billion years. I was happy. Such a simple act.
Two sisters in a bookstore together. These two sisters hadn't done this in a good fifteen years.

The same two sisters who were roommates, best friends. It was the three of us, when I started seeing my husband twenty eight years ago. The same two girls who would have Happy Hour for dinner at restaurants and laugh. We never had enough money, and never wanted to cook. There was always food at Happy Hour. Were each others Maids - of- Honor in our  weddings. Than distance came.
It would take many years to find our way back. This was the year. I never would have believed it could have happened......EVER. Miracles do. Forgiveness, growing up. Finding the true comfort of friends.
I look forward to all the catching up we have. Melding our families together. Really learning to trust.
We both want the same thing. I'd say we are off to a pretty good start. We weren't so different after all.