STILL

Sometimes I have to break things down into very small bite size pieces. I like things lined up.
If you came into my life, all outward appearances would be that of the most kick back hippy gypsy.
I think that is a big part of me. I don't like to be tied down or trapped. It helps to have a husband who feels the same way. In the earlier years, we were two crazy kids shot out  of several canons. Making up for lost time, we finally found each other. Two kids in a candy store.
Remember we are freak of nature contradictions. My husband looks like he is the more uptight of the two of us. I portray the laid back nature momma. Both are extremely accurate at times. Than we play musical chairs. I am queen of control, he doesn't have a care  in the world.

When we are driving in our car, down windy roads to adventures unknown, that is when the kid comes out in both of us.We become fearless. Joyful. Giddy. Flirtacious. Teenagers. Hilarious. Devil may care.
We change so quickly when the tunes come on,windows rolled down,  wind blowing in our faces.
Sheer heaven.  Since the first time we went on vacation together, twenty seven years ago this August.
I had never been to  Durango, Colorado. I  was a brand smacking new twenty one, and falling in love with  Raym. I didn't want to. I had already gone through a very brief marriage [ about a year and a half]
I had gotten married at eighteen, so I wasn't sure of my menfolk skills anymore. This particular man folk was a different breed altogether. I liked him. I know that is a funny thing to say,  but I never really liked the fellow I married, in hindsight. I met him at  a bar when I was sixteen~ and he liked me. Need I say more?

We drove my  little red 240Z all the way to Colorado. How it made it there,  I'll never know.
We were gone for a week, having only known each other a few months. We stayed at a very beautiful old hotel, and I realized I was  in love with him already. So this is what a Honeymoon was supposed to feel like? I knew but was terrified at the same time. I had already made such a disaster of my life. He was the real deal. I didn't want to mess this one up. We were such good friends from the start. He always made me laugh. We used to sit out  in front of my apartment building until three in the morning talking.  I had never experienced such an introspective, feeling, smart, funny man before. Still haven't.


That made it even scarier. He seemed too normal,  especially for me. I liked weird challenges.
My whole life had been based on them. Then along comes this darling man.
What to do, what to do? At aged twenty two, I married him. He was thirty so at least we had maturity
on our side with one of us. If I heard someone else telling me this story, I would have thought
hmmmmm, married at eighteen and then twenty one,  poor sap. Give 'em a year.

Well, it's been twenty six years of marriage, two fabulous kids and a whole lot of stuff in between.
I can honestly say I have never loved Raym more. Through  all the ups and downs, the roller coaster
of emotions~threats of divorce....... c'mon get real! I would never want to be with anyone else like
I want to be with him.We just get each other. Our  humor, the way we wind each other up.
It's all part of the game. How I get silent when mad and start cleaning, that is my families favorite.
They wish I were mad more often.  Our pissiness  becomes amusing. We try not to laugh after awhile, that is the best part, trying to act cool. I am chuckling now, thinking about him storming out very dramatically....... making sure I see. Check.

I wouldn't change a thing. I love our life. Most would probably go insane inside it. Works perfect for us.
Just the right blend of freedom and anal control.  If we didn't laugh as  much as we do, we probably would always be crying. We choose laughter. We have had enough tears to last a lifetime. He is my rock, my love. He is  my joy when I look at his face in the morning, and know he is tucked in with me at night. I love having breakfast together, before he goes to work, and know a hug awaits me as he tells me he loves me. I love calling him during the day, just to hear his voice. He calms me when my day is off, I soothe him when a meeting is stressful. We look forward to see each other..... STILL.