Movin On Down The Road

Last night I felt one hundred years old. I was more exhausted than I could put into words.

Every time I write, I unwrap more of myself that has been far... buried, hidden away.

It shocks me, and I am the writer. I thought I knew myself so intimately, so well. Had this part

of my life pretty buttoned down. Time to move on down the road. Next. This morning I was reading more things on forgiveness. I wrote down a few sentences. Smack...... it hit me like a thunder bolt. I understand, thought I always understood the meaning of service. Giving service.

I have met a couple of gals in the last year who have changed my perspective significantly. They have helped me see service as not a chore...... but as a part of life. Joy.

One dazzlingly beautiful ray of sunshine who I have nick named Cracklin Rosie, has reconnected me to the exuberant spirit of my youth. She teaches me about the sheer joy of cleaning a bathroom. She brings out the playfulness- I had forgotten. She makes me remember. Today for some reason, my heart connected fully with her message.

I was cooking breakfast, listening to Andrea Bocelli. Cracklin tells me Mambo Italiano is

the way to go to get the house spic and span. That is barely a fingertip of an explanation about who this fabulous woman really is.

The body, spirit of this unbelievably talented artist, that is Cracklin. The words, exquisite. Masterpieces, jewels from the heavens, she writes. Spanning across

space...... time. Bringing us all to a higher place of joy...... knowing.

Another one that has inspired me through her beautiful, soulful....... uplifting words.

Char. Such a gentle spirit, who let's her words so beautifully guide and inspire. Char and Cracklin are friends. I came much later to the game. Both are from entirely different worlds,

different styles....... yet not so different at all.... in heart and message. Funny, charming,

a depth that has no limits. Always learning, searching. Char has a compassion to her that

I have witnessed ...... it humbles me. She feels so sister like to me...... which feels so strange yet normal. Her heart is so genuine, I am glad we are friends. She teaches ..... without us even knowing we are learning. She takes us into her dance of light, and shows us that we too are born to shine.

Last but not least, this gal is one I have known for a good twenty years. She is a sister to me as well. She is Patricia. We reconnected this year again on Face Book. We had not seen each other in about five years, and along time before that. I have always loved Patricia.

Her gentleness. What an artist. I saw her recently, and had mistakenly thought a famous

work of art........ was hers. She laughed. I just remembered her style...... much credit to you Patricia. Quite an impact your beautiful art made on me. This shy, beautiful, old world

romantic girl. I am so happy we have made our way back in each others lives... hearts.

I am movin down the road, with the help from a lot of people. I am letting go and letting love in. I am accepting we cannot do this alone, we all need love. Interaction, friendship.......

connection. I had shut myself off from all that for so long. It was just my family, my hubby.

Poor fellow having to listen to me! I love my friendships with these amazing women.

I have mended very torn fences with my sisters and written extensively about our healing.

That is such an amazing and once impossible thought in my head. Grace is the only thing that comes to mind. I am now working on the most painful... and I believe the most necessary.

Where it all began. The original wound...... with my mother. I want more than anything to forgive her.... all the way through. Especially while she is still here on Earth. Writing about my Aunts death yesterday had me thinking about what my heart and soul want..... needs at this stage.

Peace....... to have the ability to really move on down the road with lightness in my steps.

It is the next stage today... I am declaring it. It is bigger than me. I now have the tools, the friendships, the love, the roadmap....... How appropriate..... "The Prayer, by"Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion just came on.