Never Alone

Getting through  trying times relies on many factors. For me...... I wanted to.  Always. Even in the worst of it, I always wanted to get better. It would seem to those who are suffering greatly that is a very easy statement to make. Quite the contrary. In my darkest hours, I prayed , begged, pleaded..... did whatever it would take imaginable to keep me afloat until the morning light.  It took me a very long time to understand myself. The pain I was in. The areas of my life that were so frightening to go back and look at.... feel.

Another factor in my healing was the love of my family. It was a constant in my all consuming darkness.
My kids may have felt my moods..... my husband had to sit with them on a daily basis.
Anyone who has not experienced profound depression, and tells you to just get over it.....
well, just doesn't work that way. Sorry. The hardest part for me ..... BS New Agers.
As you can see, my patience has worn thin. I am actually glad of this. My real me is finally emerging. I have true opinions. I am allowed to rock the boat. Especially when I have ridden on this one my whole
life. I love any person who comes from realness, truth. No matter what walk of life.
I am no longer in a place of accepting condascension. Tiresome. Have done it all my life...
The buck stops here. I realize everyone has a gift. We all do something well. The key is to find that gift.

Today I felt I found my voice more than ever. Depression is an extremely challenging thing to face in life, get a handle on. There are many ways to handle it. To find your way..... get through it and find your voice. That is the goal. Find joy, peace, balance... to name just a few things. Without balance it is very hard to function. The cloud must lift to see brighter days. Whatever method you choose, and there are many....... find out which is right for you. You are worth it. It took me  many years to  identify what  the problem really was.   Than..... to  really be able to feel my feelings. Layer after layer needs to be unpeeled. Go slow. Be kind to yourself.  We are all worth love. No matter who we are.
It is not a race to the finish. This is your life. Kid gloves required at times. Other times no less than
brutal honesty. Many different kind of therapies. Many choices. How wonderful we live in an age where
so much help is available to us now. No longer do we need to be hidden away..... ashamed like an animal. That is the point, to shine light on those suffering. To say..... you are not alone. You are worthy of love. A life truly awaits you. So much more. This does not happen over night. Anyone that tells you that in one session.....[ yikes!]
every problem you have ever known in your entire life will be gone...... run for the hills.

Believe that this can and will happen. Listen to as much positive information as you can. If possible....
surround yourself with positive people and things. A little at a time.  A hand reaching out is what saved me every time. Humbled me...... lifted me. There will always be a hand reaching out. All you have to do is ask. You are never alone. Not for one second.