Ready For Love

I am not willing to hide me anymore. I have come in this world as I am. I have worked ridiculously hard to be accepted and loved. I have exhausted every resource at my disposal.

I have been so ill I have been bed ridden, so sad, my heart has broken. Let's not start on the loneliness. Especially in crowds. It is all part of the process to strip away the excess baggage. It is very familiar to many who want to know their core essence. It is not this blissful bullshit story I am so sick of being spoon fed in this fast food, new age "everything is bliss" if you just....

(fill in the blanks).

Well, maybe I am a late bloomer. Not maybe. The thing is, what else exactly am I supposed to be ashamed of? Growing, not growing fast enough. Not seeing the light like the enlightened?

Why is my way not the right way- if inside my body it resonates perfectly. That's my point in writing this. I finally get that I have only been chasing my own tail. Period.

It feels so good to finally breathe and laugh and seriously get it. We are all okay.

As is. Who is this great rule makin-finger- pointin- mo- fo? He seriously wouldn't be someone I would want hanging out with me and mine. So I mis-spell something. What if you do?

Are the mis-spell police going to come for us? I am more concerned about wanting to know if you love me. Did I hurt you? Please forgive me for overstepping my bounds- hey thanks for loving me, anyway. Again.

We are just who we are. Walking forward, backward, sideways. The point is: We are

continuously walking. Falling, dusting ourselves off, laughing, crying. We are human.

Loving, sharing. Having the ability to be moved by the simplest of gestures. Kindness.

Acknowledgment .... good job. Understanding one another, in the deepest of grief, passion, fear.

To be loved. To accept love with grace. Quite a challenge for this little gal.

But the days of feeling less or ashamed for being the person who came into this world with

gifts and challenges are over. It's what makes the bitter and sweet work so well.

It just is. I can curse them. I have. I have been ashamed of me and let other's

classify me as less. Most of my life actually. That one is worn out. Thanks anyway.

I am me. I came here to be me. Why else would I be here? I tried being what everyone expected of me. Dismal failure. So...... the new plan. I am just going to cruise around this big ol' world and know there is plenty to go around. Enough toys for all of us.

Only thing I'm sayin.... I want to play now. Like I said, I am ready for love and then some.