Throw me in as a third in this triangle, and now we are getting downright bizarre.
Their souls are as pure and gentle as you can imagine. Had we all kinder pasts, life may have provided a gentler cushion.
Each one of them are tremendous mothers, which is remarkable in itself, coming from their
upbringing. Their children are their worlds. I think they would carry the sins of their forefathers more than willingly, to have their children healthy and happy. These women would come and go in each others lives, throughout the years, as friendships do. Taking twists and turns. More than an occasional bumpy dip. Always love way down deep, even and especially when met with indifference.
We had all grown up in the same neighborhood. We knew each other's wounds intimately, and how to poke at them. Especially when all the seasonings in the stew that was brewing
in our little kettles of emotions were working overtime. As we grew older, we married, had children, and the separation began to occur. My two friends stayed in touch, and I moved in a different direction. Over the years, we would cross paths, but my two pals remained close.
I missed them, and at times felt somewhat envious of the bond that they had formed.
I would try to go back home, to our old neighborhood, but I always just felt bad.
Then I would feel bad for feeling bad. I wanted to be like them, and be able to go
back home, shut it down and not react. Like I said, we all had very similar backgrounds.
I always felt as though something was wrong with me, that I didn't handle going back into the war zone of our past very well. That is an understatement. My friends always seemed geared up and ready for battle. The right arsenal, gas masks on and ready for the fight. I felt like I was still in my jammies. It seemed like they knew how to play the game of survival better.
It would puzzle me to no end. How? What was I doing wrong?
They are truly the sweetest hearted people I have met throughout my life. Only now,
I see, I know what it has taken, what it took from them to have to shut down themselves to that level. Having to gear up for battle year in and year out. Me, in my ignorance, assuming they were not affected. Thinking they could breeze in and out when they entered their old stomping grounds, with no consequences to their souls.
They seemed to wear it so well through the years. Until recently, when their sweet kind hearts
could no longer wear or bear the brunt, of the unkindness that went on for so long.
Never asking for anything they would arrive, time and time again.
The gifts that would await them: ridicule, judgement, prove to me.
Cool aloofness, have we met before- as they walked into their childhood homes.
The interesting thing, almost funny. These two little ladies would be the first to make sure you had everything you need to be comfortable. Ultimate hostesses. Never for one moment when you enter their homes would they ever want you to feel ill at ease. They are so warm and charming. It hurt my heart today when I heard how their once again generous spirits were
met with unkindness. They are very close and made a visit to their old neighborhood.
I, no longer in my life excuse, "They are your parents"," They are old", etc.
Unkindness is so destructive. Not only to the unlucky recipient. The family members
that are affected by the pain from the original recipient as well. On and on it goes, when bad behavior is allowed.
"That's just how they are". Okay, then this is how I am, as the door is closing on my way out as I remove myself from unkindness. I have hurt and felt bad so long for being told I am going to Hell for not believing a certain religion, am wrong on a political view, for not accepting a limited "one way" opinion, etc.
I love my friends. We have each others backs. Always. We have been through the worst of it with each other. Now it is time to really see the best of times. We have shared the pain of
unkindness. We learned how to treat each other with unkindness. Now through so much
collective pain, we are learning to bring a new way, a new word:
Kindness.
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